Numbers

So today I want to talk about a dream I had last week. It was one of those great feeling type dreams, as Trent Reznor says, "Perfect little dream, the kind that hurts the most." What I mean about the feeling of "hurt" was waking up and realizing it was in fact a dream, not reality! Of course, I can view it as a pessimist or I can be an optimist about it and use it as fuel for the fire.

As everything in dreams, nothing made sense. I just remember feeling terrible and overwhelmed, almost claustrophobic. I don't know where I was, however I remember staring at a red bar, like on a bar graph, and it said 100% in large yellow numbers. I kept looking at this chart or graph, and kept getting more angry. I decided enough was enough. I'm not sure how much time started elapsing over the course of my dream, but the bar started to decrease. It now read 95%. I was still angry, but I kept moving on. I would picture myself trying new ideas, experimenting, reading. The number kept falling. It now read 80% and I kept moving. It kept going down, 60%, 50%, 30%, 20%, 10%. Then, as I watched it reach 5% a feeling of satisfaction came over me. As I stared at the graph which at one point was 100% and now at 5% I thought, "I'm almost there." I felt so good, the feeling you get when you win; when you accomplish something that you have been attempting for years. Then I woke up.

I laid there for a bit, just holding onto the feeling for as long as I could. I remember thinking, "Wow, it was almost gone." I should probably explain what the percentage bar referred to; my debt. I have been thinking a lot lately about my debt that I have accumulated. Student loans and credit cards are the creator of nearly all of it. And every time I think of it I get more upset. However, this dream made me think.

Anger isn't a bad thing, and I have talked about it before. Without anger you show that you have no emotion. I get angry because I need to change. I am going to strive for that feeling! I can't even explain to you how amazing it would feel to eliminate this stress (and I am sure you understand what I am saying if you are troubled with debt in your life.) So what am I going to do? Change.

I am going to change the way I think, act, react, and perceive. Most people never excel in life because they refuse to change. I am going to embrace it.

As my title says "numbers" I want to share some, well, numbers. After this dream I started looking for ways to motivate me. I went to my local ATM, withdrew $10 for whatever I needed it for that night and looked at my receipt. It yelled back in black ink "AVAIL BAL: $10.43" Hmm. I am 21 years old and only have $10.43 to show for it? I was going to do what I always have done in the past, get angry, crumple it up and drive away. However, this time I did something different.

I went to a local store, and picked up a small picture frame. I went home, and framed that receipt. I placed it right on the wall directly behind my computer monitors. I am forced to see that I only have $10.43 every time I am on my computer. I am going to change this. Fuel for the fire.

I could continue to write, however I am going to try something new. I haven't advertised my blog to anyone, except for mentioning it once at Steve Pavlina's forum. I don't really expect much traffic at the moment, but once I start becoming rich I am sure I will get more readers. So what I am going to do is write less and update more often. Instead of one long drawn out entry per week, I will write 2-3 shorter entries. I think it will not only help to keep things more organized, but it will not be as overwhelming to whomever may want to read. So instead of just rambling, I am going to stop here.

Write until you're rich!